In Defense of the PSL

I’ve been doing a lot of compare/contrast in my MLS program this week (read: debating MPLP), so I think it’s time to settle the PSL debate once and for all:

Are you a basic white bitch if you love all things Pumpkin Spice on September 1st? Or are you just a Regular Human?

If you take pride in being basic and having fun molding yourself into the “trend” of the moment, I have some bad news. It’s not basic to like pumpkin in the fall.

Being “Basic” is the new valley girl. It’s about having a persona that is the opposite of unique. “Basic White Girl” or “Basic White Bitch” is a descriptor used to lump females together that conform to the same basic traits, wear their hair the same way, and dress the same way.

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However, I wouldn’t call Pumpkin Spice stuff basic. The above picture is basic. Girls in riding boots and quilted vests — the same exact outfits. There are many clothes you can wear in cooler weather (and yes, I understand riding boots are in vogue, as they should be).

Pumpkin spice is a seasonal thing. Pumpkin is a seasonal food. You wouldn’t call a girl “basic” for eating watermelon and strawberries in the summer. You wouldn’t call Wood n’ Tap basic for offering berry salad in the summer and Pork Haunch in the fall. You wouldn’t call ME basic if I wanted to simmer a beef stew all day long during a snowstorm.

Yes, Pumpkin spice takes that love of the changing seasons and exploits it beyond all measure. But it’s not basic.

Hobby Lobby, Michaels, Joann’s, and other craft stores aren’t basic for offering seasonal decorations. If pumpkin spice is basic, so are fall-leaf wreaths, apple orchards, and corn mazes. Attributing a seasonal food to an insulting term such as “basic” because many girls like coffee and coincidentally also like seasonal things is like calling your mother “basic” for setting up her yearly Christmas display.

Ugh, Mrs. Dunbar is putting out her icicles — wow, what a basic Christmas Bitch. You’re not allowed to surround yourself with seasonal foods and items. And cinnamon sticks and peppermint bark? Wow, ratchet.

Just remember that basic = insulting term for girls who have no unique personality traits. Seasonal = pumpkin spice.

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